Three Yesses You Have To Get In Order To Help Someone

Three QuestionsThere are three questions a person MUST say YES to before you can help them.

It almost doesn’t matter what field you are in, in one form or another these three questions must be answered YES before a person will accept your help. Obviously there are situations where you can use force to impose your help, but that isn’t what I’m talking about here.

The Three Questions Helpers Must Get a YES to

  1. Do you agree that you have the problem that I see?
  2. Do you need help to solve your problem?
  3. Do you believe that I can help You?

In the simple case of a person with a broken arm, the three yeses are a,most automatic. Yes I have a broken arm. Yes I need help to take care of it . Yes Doctor, I believe you can help me.

As soon as the problem becomes a little less clear cut, the three yeses become far less automatic. For example, I have a close relative who passed away because he hated to go to the doctors. He put off getting the help he needed until it was too late.

Let’s look at these three simple looking questions in a little more detail.

Do You Agree That You Have the Problem I See?

To me this is the trickiest of the three. What the potential helper is really asking is “Do you see the same problem I do?” Until the answer is YES there can be no progress.

An extreme example comes from back in the day when I worked for a Drug Abuse and Prevention Agency. Counselors and staff (along with the police and the court systems) saw drug abuse or alcoholism as “the problem.” The potential client OFTEN sees their drug of choice as the SOLUTION to the problems and stresses they had in their lives. Until the abuser saw the drug or alcohol use as a problem, the answer to this first question was a resounding NO. As a result, the person refused to be helped since they didn’t see the help being offered as help.

For Network Marketers, this is a key turning point in recruiting and in selling products. The client or prospect must say YES that he or she needs a better skin care product (for example) or YES my solution for Financial Freedom isn’t working for me. There can be no progress as long as they don’t own the problem the helper is trying to solve.

Here is another post on this topic explaining why talking to frustrated Network Marketers gets you two thirds of the way home when you are recruiting.

Do You Need Help Solving Your Problem?

If you are going to be able to help someone, the second question is just as important as the first. Often times a person recognizes that they have a problem. However, he or she thinks they can take care of it themselves. You won’t be able to help them if you can’t change their mind. Sometimes you can help them see that your help results in a better solution, but usually they don’t want outside help,

A classic example of this step is the cigarette smoker who maintains that he or she can quit any time that they want. After all, they’ve done it dozens of times.

Once you get someone to realize that they DO have a problem, you need to present your solution in a way that is attractive to the person you are trying to help. There are certainly cases where the person you are trying to help will see your solution as worse than the problem they are trying to solve.

Do You Believe That I Can Help You?

Getting the last YES involves relationships, People may reject your help based on a lack of credentials, but they will rarely accept your help if they don’t know, like and trust you. If a person sees you as confident and caring, that is often all the credentials you need.

It is important to realize that you as a helper must establish a relationship before trying to get the person to commit to the solution you are presenting. They will want to work with YOU to implement the solution. Taking yourself out of the equation often leads to the person seeking another solution.

Helping Someone In Action

When present someone an opportunity, you need to walk through these steps.

First, the person must agree that they have the same problem that you are trying to address. Part of your job is to get a clear picture of what the prospect is seeing as their problem.

I’ll give another example from my days working with drug abusers. The client would come to counseling and it was very easy for the counselors to work off the premise that the client knew they had a problem that they needed help with. The counselors would often be frustrated by their lack of progress.

The reason was often that the client came in with a totally different problem set. They were thinking: “I’ve got a problem that I need you to help me with. The judge said I had to come to counseling and get a signature from a counselor like you. Yes, I have a problem. Yes, I need help with it. Yes, you can help. The client had said YES to solving a completely different problem. There would never be any progress from the counselor’s point of view until the client started seeing the core problem as the abuse of drugs.

For a network marketer, the process is easy to see, but not always easy to carry out.

  1. The prospect has to see that their current job isn’t going to provide the long term benefits that they expected. (Yes – they have a problem.)
  2. The prospect needs to be open to looking at an opportunity that is different from the kind of job they are currently working at. (Yes I need help, What I have isn’t working and variations on this theme aren’t likely to work either.)
  3. Finally they have to agree that you and what you are offering could work for them. (Offering a body builder a program selling make up is likely to get a NO).

There they Are – The Three Questions You Need Answered With a YES

  1. Do you agree that you have the problem that I see?
  2. Do you need help to solve your problem?
  3. Do you believe that I can help You?

You need a YES to each of these questions before you can help someone.

Until Next Time. Remember, You Are One Decision Away…! Oh Hale Yes
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